#16 Title:

Keep Cool and Get Along!

Special Guest: Naomi Drew
M.A., authorexpert on conflict resolution, peacemaking, bullying and parenting

Conflict is a part of being human. It’s normal and natural, and unfortunately the main cause of violence in our school, homes and the world.

Join us for this important episode with Naomi Drew, a nationally known expert on conflict resolution and peace-making. We will talk about strategies and skills for children and adults to resolve conflict and defuse tough situations and discuss her book The Kid’s Guide to Working Out Conflicts.

Related Podcasts:

Raising Respectful Children

Talking to Your Teen

Take a Stand Against Bullying

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rss Tracks: Stop and Stare

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Duration: 41:35

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00:42 Welcome Naomi
03:38 A Need for Peacemaking
06:20 Research for the Book
10:00 What are Conflict Triggers?
12:39 Stop, Breath, Chill
17:14 Caller: Betty Jane (Harrassing Emails)
17:47 Cyberbulling: What You Need to Know
25:38 Will Our Kids Turn Out Okay?
29:28 Conflict in the Workplace
31:54 All that Naomi's Book has to Offer
35:34 One Tip for Becoming More Peaceful
36:44 More Resources for You

About Naomi Drew

Naomi Drew is recognized around the world as an expert on conflict resolution, peacemaking, and parenting. People of all ages have attested to durable changes in their relationships after applying the principles Drew outlines. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and national TV and she has served as a parenting expert for "Classroom Close-ups," an Emmy-winning public television show.

Naomi Drew is a dynamic speaker who has inspired audiences around the country. She serves as a consultant to school districts, parent groups, and civic organizations, headed the New Jersey State Bar Foundation's Conflict Resolution Advisory panel for eight years. She is a former teacher.

Ms. Drew has two grown sons who were raised in accordance with the principles she writes about. Their lives are testaments to the value of teaching peacemaking to children from the time they are young. She has over twenty years of experience in the field of peacemaking and conflict resolution and has worked with thousands of parents, children, and educators. She is a registered provider with the NJ State Department of Eduaction Character Education Network.

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Contact: Naomi@LearningPeace.com

"Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy."
- Nelson Mandela

About This Book

Ms. Drew's book is NOT just for kids. In the book, she explains how people can resolve conflict by using some simple and elegant techniques. The book is written for people ages 11 to 114 and teaches concepts and methods by which people can help solve problems that are meaningful to them and others.

Ms. Drew uses some special writing ability and her vast experience as a recognized expert in Peer Mediation and School Conflict Resolution. She writes her book in a vernacular using regular words to describe what she is telling the reader. She uses ethnic names of all nationalities to convey that all people can do this type of work, and all people are worthy of respect. She most effectively uses real life examples and information that she gathered from her work and from her survey of Middle School children all over the country. And she reaffirms the belief that everyone is hurt by conflict and everyone can help to fix that problem in society.

It is rare that readers come across a book that gives this much affirmation and assistance in regular life, and is suited for virtually all people in such a vast age range. The book is recommended for almost everyone who has an interest in helping reduce the amount of conflict in the world today. Not just big conflicts like wars, but also regular conflicts that we face everyday as people.

Working Out Conflicts is divided into eight chapters, which are called steps. Each step will help you increase your ability to be an effective conflict solver. You'll find out how to be respectful yet firm so you can stand up for yourself without making matters worse. You'll learn skills for listening, guidelines for talking out problems, strategies for managing anger and stress, ideas for staying safe, and ways to bring more peace to the wider world. Throughout the book you'll also find:

• Stories and scenarios - real -life examples of conflicts

• Quotes and facts from the students who completed the survey

• Simple activities that let you take a look at your own life

• Self-tests, conflict logs, and other forms you can use to track progress

• Books, websites, and organizations where you can find more information

Naomi’s Other Books

Hope and Healing: Raising Peaceful Children in an Uncertain World
Naomi meets this challenge head on offering practical advice for families dealing with the stress of life’s trials while outlining simple, wise ways to transform our homes into the kinds of safe havens where both children and parents can find nourishment and affirmation.

Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids: Practical Ways to Create a Calm and Happy Home
Naomi helps parents do the most pressing job of our times: create peace, one family at a time. What can you do to help your children cope with stress? How can you give them the skills for talking over problems, instead of fighting about them? Where can you find time to help your kids to be less volatile, more cooperative and much happier? Naomi has the answers.

Learning the Skills of Peacemaking
This book was one of the first to introduce peacemaking to public education. Hailed as visionary, her work has enabled educators, parents, and people of all ages to live these skills on a daily basis.
This is a K-6 activity guide on resolving conflict, communicating, and cooperating. Teach kids the concrete skills they need to get along!

No Kidding About Bullying
School bullying is a serious problem in today’s schools—one that can have severe and long-lasting effects on victims. Based on a nationwide survey of more than 2,000 students and their teachers, No Kidding About Bullying gives educators and youth leaders a diverse range of activities they can use to help kids in grades 3–6 build empathy, manage anger, work out conflicts, and stop bullying by peers.

The Peaceful Classroom in Action
This easy to read book will certainly provide teachers with many creative ideas, exercises, skills and materials for helping children learn peacemaking. This is a K-6 activity guide on how to create one and how to keep it!


“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Just the Facts . . .

Naomi surveyed more than 1,000 middle school students to find out how conflict impacts their lives.

• How mean do you think kids generally are to each other?
11% said they are not mean at all or are a little bit mean
89% said they are somewhat or very mean to each other

• 80% of 10-15 year olds say they see kids having arguments or fights every day.

• Two-thirds of middle and high schoolers said they have been teased or gossiped about in a mean way in the past month.

• In a national U.S. survey, 4 out of 5 students said they had experienced some kind of sexual harassment at school. One study found that 97% of teen reported regularly hearing anti-gay comments from their classmates at school.

• Top 10 Conflict Starters at Home

1. sharing possessions
2. who started it
3. phone time
4. who gets more form the store
5. which TV shows to watch
6. siblings in my room or space
7. shower times
8. chores
9. food and drinks
10. too much interrupting and ignoring

• A study compared kids who have close relationships with parents, teachers, and friends and kids who don't. The study found that it was much less common for kids with close relationships to: 1) be victims of violence and 2) act violently toward others.

Resources from Naomi

What You Need to Know About Cyberbullying
12 Ways to Help Your Kids Stop Fighting
Family Meetings: Guidelines
Win/Win Guidelines for Working Out Conflicts

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"When it comes to conflict, you always have a choice about how you're going to handle it. This means you have a lot of power, because what YOU choose to do can determine how the conflict will turn out."- Naomi Drew